There is something special about this particular year coming to an end…next year will be 2020!!
A decade comes to an end!
At this point in time, most of us think…. Where did the time go?!
Being mothers, it mostly went feeding, cleaning, bathing, comforting, teaching, and nurturing the little humans…
Studies suggest that mothers spent more than 50 hours per week just on the basic maintenance that children require…yes…50+ hours!!…. And most of the remaining hours…they are consumed towards listening to their stories and answering their whys and what’s…
… But, Hey! the joys of parenthood make it all worth it!
It’s the New Year, and people everywhere are talking about New Year’s resolutions.
For moms, it’s often the time when they set up lofty goals in an effort to be the “perfect” parent.
The worthy question that pops up in every mothers mind at least ten times a day…
”What can I do to be a better mom? “
At ABC for Moms, we collected a few New Year’s Resolutions that might help you become one:
- Keep most of your day for your kids.
- Don’t use your phone.
- Be patient with the kids. No rushing.
- No shouting.
- Only cook healthy.
- Spend more time outside.
- Schedule weekly date nights with your partner.
- “Me time” is a must, every single day.
Seems like the PERFECT list…
The above list IS perfect and hence unrealistic…because nothing in life is perfect…something we definitely learn in our journey of parenthood…
Mom life is tough enough, so if you’re setting resolutions this year, go easy on yourself.
Let’s not set ourselves up for failure, moms! Here’s a revised list…
1. Put yourself on “the list.”
Most of us moms put ourselves at the bottom or leave ourselves off completely, like serving lunch to our kids and skipping our own.
As you care for your little one’s meals, sleep, health, and play, don’t forget yourself too.
2. Put your phone down more often.
We all try to be on our phones less often and spend more time with family. Yet, actually putting this into action is hard. In this digital world where we share and do so much with our phones, how do we find balance?
This year, simply resolve to put down your phone more often. Becoming aware of your phone use will make you more inclined to set it down and be more present with your kids. Only look at your phone after you’ve played undistracted with kids for at least an hour.
3. Be more patient.
Again, you can’t do that all the time…so be easy on yourself. Make a habit of taking a deep breath and counting till 5 before reacting to a moment of chaos.
Don’t rush. Let the kids take their time to finish their tasks. If you are really in a hurry, don’t expect them to tie their laces themselves, do it for them.
4. Feed your kids better (again, not perfect, just better☺)!
You can’t keep all meals healthy. Admit it! With so many options around, you can’t keep this unreal expectation from your kid to limit themselves to the fried, processed and sweet options all the time. Instead keep achievable targets according to your circumstances…one healthy vegetable meal a day, or one in two days, all depends on your lifestyle and surroundings. Just keep realistic expectations.
5. Be kinder to yourself
Stop giving yourself a hard time about ‘balance.’ Don’t lean in so hard, that you fall over. You can’t get the balance right all of the time . Try and be kinder to yourself…
Let’s rethink our ideas of the perfect life and replace them with something that’s just good?
6. Treat your body with kindness.
Body image is an issue many women struggle with before, during, and after giving birth. Don’t let the world tell you your worth is rooted in your appearance. The mirror can NOT define the person you are….. Exercise more or eat less in order to be healthy…and not just to achieve a more “desirable” shape.
When we’re kind to our bodies we set a good example for our children, and help them learn that a person’s worth does not depend on the outer appearance, but the heart that one owns.
7. Accept the mess…
Insta-worthy baby nurseries and kid’s rooms– clean and organized- exists…every day, only on Instagram…and a few times a week, in reality…
Accept that no matter what you see online, the mess is normal!
What would happen if, this year, you resolved to be more accepting of this truth?
Motherhood not only brings on clutter and spit ups, it also brings forth our own messy feelings of angst, anger, guilt, shame, and confusion. Be more honest with yourself about the messiness of motherhood.
How would it feel to just accept the mess — the one in our homes and in our hearts? Maybe would help us feel a little light and free.
8. Spend at least a half hour under the sky.
Don’t be influenced by the social media posts on outings and networking that other women share. They might not have a toddler or kids who have extra energy that your kids have even when the day is ending. Plan outings according to how much you can handle.
9. Be part of the fun game at least once a day…or more…
Have you ever had this experience? Children remind us there’s fun at every turn, but sometimes we’re so caught up in maintaining order that we miss chances to join their wonder and delight in the world around us. Don’t be afraid to be a child with your little one, and relive the joy of Motherhood everyday!
10. Realize that there is no one definition of perfect.
Whether we’re conscious of it or not, we all have some vision of the “perfect” mom in our heads. Oftentimes, in motherhood when we feel like we’re failing, it’s because we’re not living up to the high standards we set for ourselves in our quest for perfection. Why not resolve to let go of “perfect”?
11. Do not over schedule…lower your pace a bit…
Don’t schedule unrealistic targets. Leave time to get bored as a family. Leave time to sit on that swing with your kid and hear the birds chirp…Try it – and enjoy how those free moments feel like a sigh of relief.
12. Buy less, decrease the clutter…
Research has proven that you feel better and free when there is less clutter and baggage… this is also something that you learn as you get old. Learn earlier, live better.
13. Trip to the Loo, alone…
It’s Ok to shut the door of the toilet and lock it for a minute while the tiny feet follow you and pound at the door. EARPLUGS….might be your best new year’s buy☺..! Welcome to Mommyhood.
14. Last but most important, Forgive yourself.
You’re doing a great job!
Know that– right now, as you are, you are enough. One of the best choices we can make when we fall or fail as mothers is to forgive ourselves, rise up, and try again.
The first thing you need to do this year is to ditch the mommy guilt and keep it easy on yourself.
Now, the list seems much less impressive, but much more realistic.
Let’s welcome 2020, with some messy hair and puffy eyes…because with that little bundle of joy in your arms, it’s all worth it!
Adding any of these to your resolutions this year? Share your list in the comments below!